1,000 miles and T-? Summary
So I went for my final walk tonight, I’ll be honest, I skimped it 2.5 miles instead of 3. With the wife and kid. That’s 9.74 for the week, which brings me to a grand total of 1,003.09 miles of mostly running for the last 51 weeks..
This morning I was pretty pumped up thinking about this post, but a lot has changed since then, since I went for my walk after they announced that they were cancelling the marathon after all (and why I didn’t feel bad about skimping my 1/2 mile).
I understand the decision, but they should have made it on Tuesday. The whipsaw of the ride has left me feeling pretty bitter.
It’s been a really crazy few months, and training for it, while adding to the stress at times, has mostly helped keep me on the straight and narrow. Now I feel like I have nothing tangible to show for it. Worse I’ve sacrificed a lot and so has my family while training. Trust me, when I say you don’t really feel like doing a heck of a lot after a 16 mile run now matter how much you try. My wife’s put up with a lot. Barely saw me some weeks. Between work and running, my woodworking hobby was shelved. Again little to show for it (yes, I’ve stayed fit, but I didn’t need to do 10 half marathons+ for that). Nor did I exactly discover my hidden passion for running.
Actually worse, I feel like I have fake trophies, because I went to the expo today. I got my runner’s badge, my d-tag is already on my sneaker, and I bought two shirts to wear afterwards (in addition to the free one) and a coffee mug. Now I feel like I have no right to them, no interest in them. I half want to return them (I already emailed asics), I half want to trash them, and I half want to put them in storage and sell it in 20 years as an errata item (can you believe those dopes in 2012!). I’m feeling fairly negative about my 2012 in-training shirt and hat right now too.
And even if I didn’t have much of a post-marathon plan, that was alright. It was going to be a plan-less POST-MARATHON.
Now I’m just a dope w/o a plan. I’m not sure what I’m doing Sunday much less going forward. I’d taken off a long weekend to recover, I might go back to work on Monday, not sure. When I get the info whether I can refund or defer I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Cause I certainly don’t feel like training for another marathon.
Anyway I’m going to mope offline now since I’m not fit company for people or varmints right now.